Monday, 30 September 2013

Decisions

Sometimes you find yourself at a crossroads in life.

I had an amazing summer - saw friends and family and played lots of cricket. And then came results day. I had completely ignored it. In my reasoning I could do nothing about it so I needn't worry. Otherwise known as putting my head in the sand (my ultimate coping method). Then I realised that actually there were many things that I should have been preparing in the lead up to results day. All the stuff that would get me on track for when I went off to uni. My friends were telling me everything from where they were staying to what cutlery they had bought. Here I was completely out of my depth because I had bought nothing and organised nothing. But still I carried on through the days and weeks ignoring the screaming fact of panic.

Then it came to results day and I got some fair results. ABB wasn't enough to get me into my top choice Bath and shouldn't have been enough to get me into UEA either. All I could feel was relief - I didn't have to go. Someone else, or rather my results had made the choice for me. Because much as I have a bit of intelligence about me I knew that University, not this year and definately not that course, wasn't for me.

But then I was told that actually I had been offered a place at UEA and what happened next was what my Mum describes as my only 2 weeks of being a teenager. I was so annoyed but I believed that I had to go because I ought to go. becuase if I didn't I would let down all the people that had helped me get there. It also made me feel a little inadequate not to go to Uni. A large proportion of my friends were going and I thought this was what I needed to do next.

Through this period I was mainly crazily uptight. I cried myself to sleep because I just didn't know what to do and the prospect of going to uni filled me with dread but still I didn't get myself organised.

Finally after 2 weeks that I wish hadn't happened I eventually told my mum that I just couldn't do it. It was the biggest decision of my life. One that a lot of people don't understand. There seems to be quite a tradition or norm that after sixth form just go straight to Uni. It was such a release and I could feel the tension leave me as soon as I told her and we had a good old cry. I know that both my parents just want me to be happy but when you get to that place you feel like your letting them down. O the other side it seems so silly but that's really what I thought then.

The next thing was - well what am I going to do?
This was hard. I am the worst person for making decisions but all I knew was I really wanted to do something that I would enjoy. I haven't said this much on the blog but I'm a qualified cricket coach and it's something I devote an extraordinary amount of my spare time to. So if this could be my job...

So I applied to work in schools, coach cricket and other sports. I was never the sporty one at school. You will still not find me going for a jog (although things are changing and it's never out of the question). However cricket came along and it changed my life. I now play at least once a week in the season. I coach 3 club teams, 1 school team and am lead coach of 1 county team. I like to keep active and the people I have met through this are amazing. Yes they are mainly male but we all get on fine and it's something I enjoy so much!

I've had an interview for this position and I have to run a practical session on Wednesday. I really hope I get this job as It's something I really want to do. It's completely different from the academic course I was going to do but change is good. And if I do? well life goes on. I look for a different job, I see what opportunities are out there.

I always thought saying yes to every opportunity was important but now I know that doing what your instinct tells you and being true to yourself are a lot more important, because at the end of the day if you don't enjoy what you do in your career you have to work for a very long time!

Kate xx